“Home is where the heart is”, as the phrase goes. This came up in conversation with a friend who was over for dinner last night for an overdue catch up. As we dined over Saag paneer and samosas ( some of my favorite Indian food), she caught us up on the whirlwind of her life. She is technically homeless in the sense that she has opted to live/travel in different places as part of her transition out of a long marriage and currently bounces between NYC, Paris to visit her college kid, and upstate NY. While she yearns to have a physical home to call her own again, for now this is ok. And this is made ok by remembering that home can be felt by simply connecting within oneself vs. a physical home surrounded by material things. Of course there is nothing wrong with loving things and objects, I am the first to say that I love to shop. But as my friend shared, when you learn to live with your essentials you begin to realize you don’t need very much to get by and to feel happy, whole and even at home. When living transiently, there is this reminder that home can be found from a sense of belonging within the heart.
And yet, we easily make ourselves homeless as we traverse circumstances and situations in life. We get caught in the riptides of our thoughts and emotions and attach the stories that may or may not necessarily be the truth of the reality. Then the heart hardens and aches and the mind tries to make sense of these feelings and may even wonder how did we get here? And so the mind takes over, becomes the driver and sets the heart on cruise control. There is a bit of danger in this because the mind, our beautiful powerful brain, has the capacity to rationalize what the heart is trying to decipher by inventing so many storylines to understand what the heck is going on.
Triggering a limbic response, the amygdala and the hippocampus is also searching for remembered states of being and past experiences to match the emotions of the moment, it’s part of a primal survival response. While it serves to protect, it may also create old loops and stories that are not necessarily accurate, only familiar. The danger in this is that we attach to the old truths of the past that may not serve us in the moment and not accurately reflect who we are now.
A disembodiment of the heart and mind happens, a schism that can trigger habits of disservice— like self criticism, judgment, trance of unworthiness, emotional overwhelm, negative thoughts and just a complete total shutdown, like let’s just pull the covers over our head and never look to come out, EVER AGAIN. This spiraling is real, and has been too familiar and close to my own heart home. But even in the darkest moments of the monkey mind and a numb heart, there is the ability and awareness to do little things to help offset this— a meditation ritual, an aromatic breath practice, and a supportive restorative yoga pose/asana to calm the nervous system, to unite what feels disconnected and disembodied. (If you want to practice this with me, continue on below to access.)
And then in the midst of your personal thunderstorm, an unexpected caring friend reaches out and checks in just in that very precise universally well-timed moment to say, “hey, is all ok?”. She tosses out an anchor for you to grab onto, and helps you navigate your return home, to your heart.
Allow me to be your anchor, Hey is all ok? How is your heart doing?
This song, Sit Around The Fire, is based off of a recording of a youthful Ram Dass during one of his spiritual talks from the 1970s, a pioneer meditation teacher and spiritual guru. It is a beautiful reminder of our inner truth.
Join me and Renee Rotkopf on our next one day Women’s Retreat, Tending to Our Inner Hearth in Woodstock, NY. Saturday December 16th. Read on for more details below.
As we transition through the seasons, and the darker days become longer, Winter is a season of stillness and turning inward. How may we support our own inner hearth and continue to stoke the fires of resilience, harmony, and balance? Join us as we explore, journey, and practice resourcing together in our sacred community of women.
Hearth centered program includes:
Contemplative Journaling & Intention Setting Aromatherapy Scent Crafting
Havening Techniques to anchor our scent intentionGuided meditation & Pranayama
Breathwork with Gong Bath and closing circle
A warm, nourishing and delicious lunch provided by Bistro To Go
Value Exchange: $195 We will happily help with accommodations if traveling from outside the area.
To register: email me at cam@rootandresin.com
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